It makes me so sad...
Niiki,

It makes me so sad, knowing how all of your previous relationships' negative parts have collaborated and affected our relationship so much. I wish I could take away all of your pain and heartache and mistrust, so we could be happier, there would be nothing I'd rather have.

Last night, after we talked about Logan, I thought for awhile. I thought about how much you had to trust him to do what you did. How much you had to love him... You said you only dated a few months, yet your relationship was obviously more than a bit of making out. And it angers me knowing that he has affected you like this. I could see it, in my head, and more than anything, it made me jealous. I so badly want to be that man I see in my head. I want you to know that I won't hurt you or cause you pain. I want you to know how much I truly love you. Someday I know I will, hopefully sooner than later. But no matter what, I want you to know I don't blame you for feeling how you feel, about sex, and being sad and disappointed, and angry at him, and not wanting to talk about him. I'm so sorry he had to treat you like that. I also want you to know that I am not angry with you, not angry a bit. I'm not angry or upset or disappointed or anything with you at all.

I know I always make it seem like sex is all that drives me, but there is so much more than that involved. Passion, in general is what I'm worried about. I'm afraid that you are afraid of being passionate. I know you don't want to always make out , but there is a reason behind that. I've got a lot of love in me, and I can't seem to make it ever go away. Never ever worry about losing me or pushing me away, or even me not being as trusting as you.

Strangely, this has only made me happier. I feel a bit more optimistic and a lot less afraid.

Love you.